She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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