i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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