We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
