kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My vagina is officially offended.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
