You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
