He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
whose ass print is on the piano?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
