I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
