I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
