And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
