she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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