please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I want her autograph on my taint
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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