if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
