I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize