So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
