Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
