Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
