Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
