my soul wont recognize me after tonight
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
