I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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