Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
