I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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