i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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