Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
