I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The Olympian is in my bed
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
