We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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