no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
