i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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