So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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