You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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