I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
