Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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