Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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