Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You took a bar mat shot.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
