So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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