We got so high we made milksteak
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
