Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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