I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
