And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
