omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
