You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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