Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
