i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize