I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
