if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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