do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
NoShamevember. You game?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
