my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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