Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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