Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
