she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
