Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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