this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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