Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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