I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
