That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
