Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize