i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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