After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
