I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
