just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
