Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
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i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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