I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
